Sex Sells…Itself Short

The other night I watched a sales page video that left me with my mouth unhinged.

In it, Haley Milano, a very young woman in a tight black dress, is perched on a chaise and talks about how she is living the life of her dreams after …


…implementing a system that she hardly had to touch for it to bring in thousands of dollars in a matter of days.

As she tells you her sultry and steamy story, she shares that she really struggled to make ends meet and couldn’t afford to pursue her education.

She was down to eating Ramen noodles and running out of cash FAST.

On the ill advice of a friend, she settled for the one job she considered a last resort.

She became a stripper at a “Gentleman’s Club.”

She goes on to share that she knew absolutely nothing about Internet marketing, nor did she care to learn anything about it even though many of her clients were rich young men in the industry who showered her with THOUSANDS of dollars whenever they visited the club.

Clearly she was intrigued as to how they made so much money.

During one heavy night of partying, she claims she recorded one of her clients on video partaking in drugs and other dancers.

She used that against him so he’d show her how to get rich and get her out of the stripper lifestyle. She threatened to show his wife the video if he refused.

With that one act of blackmail, this mystery businessman had a CD delivered to her mailbox and it was this very CD that somehow provided her with the “magic button” that allowed tons of cash to start rolling in.

Is it true that sex sells? Yes, but not literally.

Just the very idea of something sexual is alluring and intriguing, and it’s a power that we should leverage very carefully.

As women, we seem to just have this innate ability to tap into our mystique and use it to our advantage.

I very much wanted to rip into this Haley character, but a few things needed to be considered and acknowledged first:

  1. Someone who thought HE was clever marketed this character, and I should not assume that Haley is a real person.
  2. There were a few glitches in her story that helped me to realize that she was in fact a representation of a certain type of woman and not necessarily a real person representing herself.

The video opens with this line:

“Surprised to see a woman on one of these? I thought you might be.”

That was the first indicator that perhaps the marketers behind this character were missing out on a huge niche that has been around for quite some time. Women have been in business for DECADES!!!!, and if you’ve been attending enough webinars and joining enough organizations, you are aware that women are a POWERFUL and INFLUENTIAL business force.

Most women are carefully choosing the way in which they want to represent their business prowess. Some know how to be PROVOCATIVE without being INDECENT. They know how to EXCITE without REVEALING too much of what they have to offer.

Haley attempts to speak for a niche that hungers for an easier way of doing things, and it might be safe to say that the strategies she represents are a bit misdirected. She makes it clear that she’s not quite enthralled or informed about hosting, search engine optimization, blogging, web site construction, or any of that stuff that thousands of women are currently leveraging to great success for their home businesses.

As cute as it is, I can tell that this character could not have been created by a savvy business woman


She represents an underlying assumption that women can’t be bothered or troubled to know how to do all that “internet marketing stuff.” Therefore, they should considering using Haley’s super affordable system. She claims she started it up and when she walked away to take off her makeup, it was already earning her a bunch of money.

“I’m the luckiest and unluckiest girl you’ll ever meet.”

Business women know that luck has very little (practically nothing) to do with success. It’s all about choice.

After her stint as a stripper, Haley claims that she’s found a more dignified way to earn money. But I caught her in a huge contradiction. She gained access to the system by blackmailing a man first. This character CHOSE to be a stripper and she CHOSE to blackmail her way to money.

Whoever created the sales video (and i have a hard time believing it was a woman who did such a horrific thing) missed several huge marks in their attempt to represent what it means to be a woman who can leverage her sex appeal to gather attention.

Being an attractive and successful business woman takes more than just looking pretty in a tight dress and heels. It will only take you as far as Haley got while she was relying on her sexy looks to get all those hundred dollar bills as a dancer (and trust me, she’s not shy about sharing that with us).

When it comes to business, if you’ve got looks, then you’ve definitely got people’s attention. But you can’t stop there.

Haley had nothing to offer in terms of personal development and genuine strategy, and those are things that business women heavily rely on when they build business relationships with clients and colleagues.

The marketer(s) who thought up the idea of Haley as some ideal and alluring woman could have taken things a little further, but they maintained a rather ominous and depressing position in making Haley’s character sort of 2-dimensional.

Basically, she came off as a gold-digging, superficial tramp.

She may not be either of these things.

However, in this or any business, that’s an image we can’t afford. We already face tons of criticism even when it is undeserved.

We should never have to feel guilty about leveraging our good looks to get attention, but we’re always going to need a little more to keep our heads above the water.

We need to consistently churn out role models who look fabulous, know that they are sexy, and deliver 100 times more with some serious and respectable notions of becoming supportive, intelligent, emotionally healthy women who demonstrate agreeable values even in the most difficult life moments.

My best wishes to Haley. I hope that her REAL business idea, the one where she wants to create designer handbags and purses, really works out for her and that she continues to enjoy the walnut pancakes made for her every Monday by her personal chef.

Etiquette For Getting More Blog Readers

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The one who complains she doesn’t get invited anywhere, but when she’s invited to the party she spends the whole time drinking by herself in the corner.

Blogging is a social activity.


Here are some simple ways to be a good social blogger:

1. Keep It Alive

Blogging frequently on different topics allows you to be interesting to new friends by  appealing to different people’s interests.

This might be obvious, but apparently not so in the online business community!

When new visitors arrive at your blog, it’s usually to read a specific article. But they also browse your archives and your recent posts to see what else you blog about. Some readers, especially those who like you, will bookmark your site and visit again the next day.

Fresh content is critical for building a loyal return-reader base.

2. Clean Your Room

Your blog visitors are yours and they want to hear from you, not someone else.

Contrary to popular belief, having 100 interviews with “experts” and “gurus” more knowledgeable than you in your field does not do much to give you authority or credibility. In fact, if anything it makes them look like heroes and you like a ZERO.

If those videos are important, give them their own page away from the homepage. Your homepage should be clean and tidy and reserved for “YOU stuff”.

3. Be Considerate

During the day, most blog readers are trying to discretely read your blog from work.

Don’t be the annoying girl who rings her friend at work and tries to tell about her crazy Saturday night while on speakerphone in a meeting. Autoplaying videos are obnoxious and not cool. They can turn first-time visitors off in an instant. Let your visitors decide which video they like, let them click when they’re ready to play.

Videos posts can be very effective as long as you give your readers choice.

Some people don’t have lightning fast internet connections and they dread playing online video. A good idea is to offer a balanced mix of video, picture, and text to suit a variety of readers’ preference.

4. Sound Human

Your personal blog is YOUR personal log of amazing thoughts.

Write in the voice your friends and family hear when you communicate with them. Keep away from the rhetoric used when you’re consulting or interviewing a client over the phone. Drop the industry jargon, the idiomatic expressions, and the cliches.

That’s is called Sales Language. Take a look at what’s left when you throw it out the window, and you’ll find that you have a very human voice that comes through in your writing.

Readers connect with other people’s humanity, they trust it, and they enjoy reading like a conversation with a new friend.

5. Blogging on the Cheap

Not everyone can afford to hire a fancy-shmancy designer to set up their blogs.

Believe it or not, having a blog doesn’t mean you need to have a picture of you at the top, arms folded and wearing a pantsuit. Particularly if that’s not the you that your friends know!

Keep things natural, even if it is because you can’t afford a fancy graphics guy.

It can actually work in your favour since people you’ve never met in person will get a sense that you’re approachable, casual, and friendly.

Don’t get hung up on the technology and making things look overly decorated. People read blogs because they have interesting stuff to say, not because they’re impressed with the headers.

I struggled with themes until I used a free blogging service. Now I focus on my content and make up for my design deficiencies by writing entries that really matter. You should too.

There are many free blogging services like,,, and Consider these options; they let you be setup and ready to blog in MINUTES.

6. Participate in Your Blogging Community

Just as in social life, you can’t sit around and wait for visitors to drop by. Go out and make some friends.

Read other people’s blogs that interest you. Communicate with them, show genuine interest and get inspired by them. If someone says something that REALLY interests you, consider writing a blog-reply instead of just a little comment.

7. Re-Blogging and Blogversations

Not only do blogs allow readers to participate with comments, but they also allow readers to participate by blogging!

Trackbacks and Pingbacks are actually a kind of extended comment. It’s a way for one bloggers to reply to another blogger’s entry by writing a response at their own blog.

Don’t copy someone’s blog posts and post them on your own blog. That is offensive, almost like stealing a person’s personality. It also makes you look horribly unimaginative.

A fellow blogger is a potential ally. When you like someone’s entry, go ahead and write your reply as a post at your own blog for your readers. Simply reference the URL of the entry you’re responding to, and say your viewpoint.

As a result, a reference link back to your blog will show up in their comment thread (if they approve it). Then a two-way connection is made between you so that interested readers on both sides will learn of both blogs.

Follow these 7 guidelines to be a better, more social blogger. You will find that blogging is more fun than ever before. You’ll build an audience quickly, make friends easily, and do much business!

Open Letter To Aspiring Bloggers

When you first starting writing a blog, you have to get really REAL with yourself.

You’re going to need to write a first entry and you have to realize a few things as you start:

1.      It does not have to be perfect at all. In fact, allow it to suck.

2.      It’s only your first entry, relax!

3.      Things always get better with age and practice.

With that said, I would recommend a few things about how to start off as a blogger, even if your goal is to get some attention to your business.

First off, you want to be where there is already a community of bloggers and the platform allows for some exposure to your writing.

Secondly, don’t hesitate to include images with your posts so that you stimulate the senses.

And Finally, write what you know to be true and start building a genuine connection with other readers.

A lot of this advice seems so obvious, I know, but whenever I open up a new blog, I stress out a little when writing my first entry.

I worry about whether it’s good enough, but then soon remember that it doesn’t even matter if it’s good enough. I just matters to get past that first God-awful entry so I can move on to the really good stuff.

And the length of each one can vary. Your blogs don’t all have to run on and on for paragraphs at a time. You can sneak in a few sentences to maintain some relevancy, even if all you want to do is share an idea you had that day.

I love blogs that link up to my Smart Phone. I love being able to take a picture of something happening in my neighborhood and upload it with some accompanying text all through my cellular phone. Some free blogging platforms let you do that after you download the related app for that blog. For example, if you’ve been reading me, you know I’m really into Tumblr, and I’ve downloaded an app for it that lets me send out pictures, video, audio, and links when I’m not at my computer.

But I digress. Let’s get back to how you’re going to write that first entry.

You can cop out and say something like, “Hey all! It’s my first time here blah blah blah.” I mean, why not? It really is your first time.

Or get right down to the nitty gritty. Did you have a horrible day? What happened? Or maybe you had a really excellent meal at a new restaurant in town and you want everyone to know that you nearly lost your mind on some delicious, mouthwatering foie gras after the waiter told you what’s in it.

If you’re a business savvy person, think about this:

There are already a ton of people out there who are offering advice on how to run businesses. They are sharing tips and strategies, and while that’s all fine and you can do the same, the important thing to keep in mind is “How can I share the same information but with my own spin?”

How can you share that same info to people but make it all your own?  See, that’s the thing about a lot of knowledge. It’s all really the same, if you think about it. But some writers and bloggers out there are offering their own personalized spin on how to share that information with readers.

As you set out to write your first blog entry, just think that even if you’re going to write what’s already been written a thousand times over, write it with your own flavor and humor. Pretend that you’re having a conversation with a close friend and use the same language you’d use with that person.

And if that still doesn’t help, then don’t hesitate to fetch a bit of Brandy to stir the imagination.

Hollywood Blogger Party

Two weeks ago I got to see for myself just how amazing social media can be if you do it right.

I was invited to a party that a new friend of mine had at her apartment which is spitting distance to Hollywood. I first learned about this girl when I listened to a podcast series she did with comedian Jordan Rubin. Immediately I added her on twitter and then followed her blog on tumblr.

Her name is Molly McAleer but she is better known as Molls of

Molls is a phenomenal blogger. She started off work with a site called which allowed her to grow her online presence by posting videos on various activities to do in Los Angeles and the Hollywood area.

She’s a genius at leveraging social media. What I’ve noticed about all that she’s put online is that there’s honestly nothing super fancy to it. She’s not using cute graphics and epic soundtracks. She makes her videos using her laptop’s built-in camera and she doesn’t read from any scripts.

After drinking two cups of wine at her party, I looked around and realized that I recognized several of her guests. Some of them I added on twitter and the others I recognized from their tumblr blogs. What really surprised me was that some of the girls knew me by my twitter name and just that detail alone made me feel like a part of the whole thing. I loved not feeling like an outsider even though I showed up on my own and was meeting many people for the first time.

I once heard a friend make the snarky remark, “People still use Twitter?” I was instantly annoyed at hearing this because he had no idea how many new friends I was making just by connecting with them on twitter, exchanging a few jokes and @replies, and finally connecting with them at events in Los Angeles. Isn’t that what marketers were trying to do in the first place with social media?  The bloggers are seeing great success with this, so why aren’t they?

A lot can be learned from Molls’ style in terms of how to put together a video and a personal blog. I think that when we get so caught up in business, we forget to be ourselves and that holds us back from creating a genuine connection with the audience. And keep in mind that your audience sometimes consists of existing clients as well as potential new clients.

Molls has over 8,000 followers on Twitter and just as many on her personal blog, if not more. Her page lists 452 followers and that will continue to grow considering how new the site still is. She has teamed up with where they currently sell shirts with some well-known phrases that have been inspired by her blogs and videos, and I am currently the owner of the famous “Hey/Girl” v-neck shirt. Orders are still coming in for that one and the company can hardly keep up with production.

The charm and allure of her writing has a lot to do with the honesty that she puts into all of it. People who get upset at what she says are quickly outnumbered by her supporters. And as you’ve probably learned in business, that’s one way to weed out the folks with whom you’d least like to work. If they don’t like what you have to say, they can find someone else, right?

Molls’ will continue to grow as a social media queen and we will be able to track her success as she continues to take over as a successful writer.

When I think back to the people who were at the party, I realize that I walked away with the honor and privilege of meeting some really amazing people, including a book author whom I really admire and whose books I recently read. I see that for those of us who are struggling to be a little better known in business, sometimes all it takes is shooting a few videos and writing a few blogs so that we can start sending out the message on who we are and what we can offer to others. If we can be as gutsy as Molls, we might even get a feel for how powerful it is to connect with our audience on a genuine and consistent level.