When Andrew Reitano had enough of high definition technology, he decided to kick it old school and make a home-made video game.
If you were around in the 80’s, you might remember what an 8-bit game looked like. I missed that boat. So the closest I came to it was the Nintendo 64, which was a little more sophisticated.
The Nintendo 64 was, and is to this day, my favourite console. I liked one racecourse game, where I whizzed through trippy rainbow levels with eyes unblinking, panting, and forehead damp with perspiration, kicking ass….
…Shit! The game freezes. I rip out the cartridge, blow in it a few times, shake it up and down, do the hokie pokie, turn around, and resume the game, and I’m back!
Okay, maybe the Nintendo 64 wasn’t that great.
But Andrew Reitano (aka Batsly Adams) might disagree, because his game idea just might have come to him while piss-drunk and blowing into the cartridge of a frozen game.
Reitano’s video game consists of a gutted cartridge from an 80’s Nintendo (NES) loaded with a breathalyser. He’s an engineer, by the way, which may explain why this all made sense to him.Â The breathaliser-cartridge contraption attaches to a television through some electronics and the whole setup makes up a college drinking video game.
Between rounds of shots, Players take turns blowing into the breathaliser-cartridge.
The player’sÂ blood-alcohol level is measured and their drunkenness is rated using clever puns displayed on the attached television in whopping 8-bit color.
The game, named appropriately, The DrunkenNES, comes complete with a Hall of Fame so players can see and beat one another’s records.
I don’t know about you, but I come from a college time of beer-pong. Very traditional, very effective, and no technology involved. Unless you play with cell-phones instead of ping pong balls, but then the rules change and that’s a whole other story.
It might be fun to imagine what today’s college kids would do with The DrunkenNES—Wait. No.
Let me back up a little bit. I’m not even sure if breathalysers are legal devices that are available to any commoner. Could Joe Blow just walk into the supermarket and say,
“Hey. Uh, yeah. Where do you guys keep the breathalysers?”
and would the meat-packer respond, “Oh, just down there, in aisle 3, next to the cookies.” ???
It doesn’t seem likely.
But anyway, for fun, let’s assume Batsly does find the breathalisers in Aisle 3 and he creates a prototype of The DrunkenNES using his Engineering education. My prediction is that he would become extremely rich and destroy humanity in one shot.
After all, people play games to win and no one wants to lose DrunkenNES.
I mean, all that good ole’ Batsly would have to do is post a few videos on YouTube and pretty soon…
Internet creatures will start responding, liking, and thumbs-upping…
Batsly will think to himself, “Hm. Maybe I can be rich and famous if I sell this shit for real.”
He gets in touch with his dad’s lawyer and patents the idea. Soon he has Hasbro and Mattel on the phone.
“Hello, Hasbro? Mattel? I got this gajillion dollar game idea. Make it real!”
College kids worldwide start buying DrunkenNES after DrunkenNES, little boys and girls will put the DrunkenNES on their Christmas list to Santa, teenagers will be sneaking them into school,Â every dorm room on the planet will have at least one.
The trend will spread across the civilised world, eventually taking everyone on a deathly trip in the ever-downward spiral of alcoholism. And then? No more college kids! That means no more future leaders of tomorrow!
Oh, this DrunkenNES is a bad idea, I tell you. A bad fucking idea.
There’s a silver lining, or a golden spoon, or how does that expression go? When there’s a moral to a story?
Anyway, there’s a moral:
If you come up with a business idea that’s unique and original, you have a good chance of killing off all idiots and ruling the world.
To see The DrunkenNES in action, check it out on YouTube. It does look like a blast!