no, we CAN’T be friends

Being social.

The whole “political correctness”, the fake niceties, small talk, pretending to care when you don’t, the favours, the visits. UGHhhh CRINGE. It’s all so tedious.

Finding a career online has been great.

All the advantages of “being social” without any of the things I don’t love.

My wife thinks I’m weird. Constantly tries to get me to do stuff with this or that and scratches her head at my replies. eg,:

 “But if we visit so-and-so this ‘one time’, then so-and-so will ‘owe us’ a visit. And we start a cycle that doesn’t exist, and I don’t want to exist.”

or

“I don’t like hanging with X’s husband. His conversations are tedious. I’m an intellectual, and I can’t let my mind be exposed to the ‘DUMB’ he puts out.”

or

“Look, he’s just not on my level. I’m not trying to be mean, but pretending to like him makes me physically tired and ruins my whole day.”

Anyway, although online relationships can be filtered somewhat, they are just as tedious.

Ever notice that the “Done-For-You Traffic” service we offer at YL has a very generous “buddy discount” (50%! @http://jimyaghi.com/traffic)

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind giving a discount to a buddy, buddy. But the definition stated at the link above was: “someone who has met me in person” AND “has had at least one PHONE conversation with me”.

A client-customer conversation doesn’t count as a “phone conversation”, btw. But whatever, I didn’t make a distinction one way or the other.

So then along comes numbnuts asking for the ‘buddy discount’ because we met at some event in vegas or whatever. Ermm…dude, the events I attend as a guest-speaker have over 1,000 people in attendance.

There is no way on this planet everyone I shook hands with is ‘buddy’. I’m not that popular.

Besides I like to be friends with people at the same intellectual level so there is an EQUAL exchange of ideas between us, even in idle “social time”. That’s what these emails you get from me are–“SOCIAL Intellecture” — conversations I’ve had with a ‘buddy’ before you got em.

Problem with buddy discounts isn’t the discount itself. It’s the ‘buddy’!

Apparently online, a buddy (and let’s go ahead and include some of your favorite Gooroos and their staff)…can expect to be a royal pain in the buttpipe. They assume they can request:

1. Exceptions on any conditions you have for products or services you sell

2. That you create a customised service, often asking for things not included in any of the packages you sell but also expecting EVERYTHING in ALL the packages you sell

3. Faster service than anyone else. they send an email every 15 minutes asking for an update

4. That you start the work before any payment is made, expecting free preparation, often without discussing payment until after they get the work.

5. And multiple contacts before, during, AND after the sale to answer their dipshit questions at every step where they get to challenge everything and anything you say.

And that’s just some of the annoying extra work that ‘social relations’ bring.

I stop replying to them. Don’t know if they get the hint, I fired them as friends and as clients.

Honestly, I rather PAY THEM to stop thinking of me as their buddy.

– They’re exhausting.

– Their mom is exhausting.

– Talking to them is a physical drain.

But there’s others who understand they’re not friends so they try to create a “buddy” relationship from thin air. Like I need MORE useless friends. I’d PAY TO LOSE MY CURRENT FRIENDS. If you want friends, adopt mine, I’ll pay you.

Makes me laugh.

Here’s how it works:

They send in an email inquiring as if they are a prospective customer and great fan. As soon as they get a reply, they show some serious interest in one of your products and expectantly ask to talk on Skype or phone to discuss their needs.

Here’s my advice if this ever happens to you in some distant future when you become a big-shot. 🙂

DON’T

That’s all for today. Good advice, money in the bank.

If you are interested in our Done-For-You Traffic packages and consultations, then please understand my time is precious and little.

It’s so little, so valuable, that I actually try to save time on sleep (4 hours a day). Don’t have time for friends. Don’t have time for anything other than traffic raping and world domination.

If you need a phone call or email to “discuss your needs”, then you’re asking me to sell you on the phone.

I sell you enough here, in your email every day. Don’t I? Friends. 🙂

You need to talk about your needs, traffic, your business, your sales page, your website, your kids, my life, want sex advice, this is the ONLY and most cost-effective way to do it:

http://jimyaghi.com/traffic

~jim

YaghiLabs

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